You Are Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience

You Are Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience edited by Tarana Burke and Brené Brown is an anthology of experiences by Black writers and thinkers. Each essay explores themes central to Burke and Brown’s work on vulnerability, shame, empathy, and white supremacy. In this anthology, writers such as Austin Channing Brown, Prentis Hemphill, Laverne Cox, and Imani Perry explore their unique experiences with shame and vulnerability. These works expose the way trauma and white supremacy contribute to the advancement of oppression, the degradation of health, and the continuation of dangerous and harmful systems within Black communities.

This guide utilizes the 2022 Random House trade paperback edition.

Content Warning: This collection of essays tackles stories and issues surrounding sexual violence, abuse, and racism.

Summary

Tarana Burke and Brené Brown’s anthology You Are Your Best Thing opens with an epigraph from Black American author Toni Morrison’s book Beloved (1987). The quotation comes from a scene where the protagonist, Sethe, is worried that her identity and value were lost when her child died. The declaration, “You are your best thing,” is a rejection of the idea that Black women must always sacrifice themselves for the needs and identities of others. You Are Your Best Thing is an anthology filled with the stories of Black individuals determined to reclaim the personal identities and self-worth taken from them by white supremacy and shame. Burke and Brown’s anthology explores four major themes: The Nature of Shame, Vulnerability as Resistance, The Trauma of Racism and White Supremacy, and Empowerment Through Empathy.

In the Introduction, Burke and Brown engage in a discussion about how they developed the book and the way the experiences of Black people contribute to Brown’s work on vulnerability and shame. Chapter 1 by Jason Reynolds solidifies these concepts as main themes in the work. Reynolds shares his story of dismantling shame for himself and his family while learning to define who he is outside of a system of oppression. In Chapter 2, Austin Channing Brown confronts foreboding joy and learns to feel happy even when everything around her tries to take joy away from her.

Tanya Denise Fields shares her story of abuse and violence in Chapter 3. Fields reclaims her life and the lives of her children by leaving her abusive husband and denouncing shame. In Chapter 4, Kiese Makeba Laymon shares his personal journey to identify and treat his mental illness. Laymon shows how people of color are often misdiagnosed or ignored by medical professionals, especially in matters of mental health. Prentis Hemphill shares in Chapter 5 a connection between the body and trauma and explains how healing must be understood within a social and political context. All three chapters consider the relationship between shame and the body.

Chapter 6 by Tracey Michae’l Lewis-Giggetts examines the role of religion in the development of shame, especially within Black communities. Lewis-Giggetts advocates for healing older generations, as well as younger generations, of Black women. In Chapter 7, Marc Lamont Hill breaks down the stereotypes and internalized trauma of Black masculinity. He argues for vulnerability as a key to recovery. Keah Brown describes her experiences as a disabled Black and queer woman in Chapter 8.

In Chapter 9, Luvvie Ajayi Jones traces the origin and shifts in her name and identity throughout her life. Shawn A. Ginwright challenges readers to create space for young people to engage with emotional vulnerability in Chapter 10. Kaia Naadira shares her own survival story with shame and trauma as a young person in Chapter 11. As an abuse and sexual assault survivor, Naadira learned to grapple with shame and recognize it for the debilitating force it is.

In Chapter 12, Deran Young dives deep into racial trauma and how looking back can help individuals reconnect with vulnerability. Sonya Renee Taylor exhibits these ideas in Chapter 13. When her car runs out of gas, Taylor learns to stop running from her memories and herself. Irene Antonia Diane Reece looks at her family’s photos to engage with the past and find healing in Chapter 14. In Chapter 15, Yolo Akili Robinson reveals how the generational trauma caused by white supremacy affects how Black people feel about themselves and others.

Laverne Cox details how intergenerational trauma affects how people treat others in Chapter 16. She describes what it is like to live as a trans person in a world where she is victimized by other members of the Black community. Cox argues that the generational harm caused by white supremacy leads Black people to hurt others and that grappling with shame is the key to moving forward. Jessica J. Williams emphasizes the importance of surrender when confronting shame in Chapter 17. In Chapter 18, Aiko D. Bethea explains various responses to white supremacist culture and promotes shame resilience as a pathway toward healing and growth. Chapter 19 by Imani Perry explores the way Black women and Black mothers are tied to shame through the conflicting messages projected by shame. In Chapter 20, Tarana Burke writes a letter to herself. She reminds herself that the work of healing is continuous, and that she must daily recommit herself to pursuing and exposing truth in her own life and the lives of others.