What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

One of the major topics of Stephanie Foo’s memoir is silence in Asian American communities surrounding mental health. Historically, many immigrants and refugees from Asia arrived in the US after surviving extremely traumatic experiences, yet they often refused to share those experiences with their children, even when asked. For example, Foo’s father grew up in poverty and his family witnessed extreme violence during the Cold War. Other refugees had to survive excruciating conditions while migrating to the US, some even losing family members to the voyage. Foo is convinced that silently carrying such trauma cannot be healthy. In her own case, she laments that had her parents only spoken about their traumatic memories, their family might not have been torn apart. Her memoir is in part an exploration of the likely causes of this silence, both within her family and within the broader community.

Foo suggests that one contributing factor is the stereotype of Asian Americans as a “model minority.” To the outsider, Asian American immigrants often appear to comprise a monolithic block defined by upward mobility and socioeconomic success. This myth not only elides the widely varied experiences of different Asian American groups but also masks the trauma and anxieties that may lurk beneath the surface of even the most outwardly successful families.