“I was going to regret this. I knew it, yet here I was, signing my life away, at least for the next year. I didn’t make a lot of promises, but when I did, I kept them. Committed myself to them. Which meant if I promised Josh I’d look after Ava, I’d fucking look after her, and I’m not talking about a text check-in every two weeks.”
Alex’s avoidance of promises signifies his avoidance toward attachment. However, the fact that he commits himself fully to the promises he does make illustrates the true depth of his emotional attachments, which exist but remain carefully hidden under layers of hostility and indifference.
“Sixteen years might seem like a long time, but I specialize in the long game. It doesn’t matter how many years I have to wait as long as the end is worth it. And the end of the man who had destroyed my family? It would be glorious.”
While Alex refers to his patience during 16 years of waiting and plotting for revenge, his constant references to how well he plays the long game foreshadow his relationship with Ava. When their relationship falls apart and she moves to London, Alex waits a year and a half for Ava’s forgiveness. Groveling for Ava’s love leads to a worthy and glorious end; not only does Alex get the girl, but their amended relationship brings back the “Sunshine” in Ava’s personality, and the light to Alex’s darkness.
“He’d moved in two days ago, so I expected to see stray boxes lying about, but everything was so polished and put together, it looked like he’d been living here for years […] In fact, I didn’t see any personal effects—nothing that showed I was in an actual home and not a model showroom.”
Alex’s house shows no signs of the move two days earlier. The polished, pristine appearance of his home mirrors the mask Alex puts on for others. By maintaining absolute cleanliness, Alex leaves no clues for outsiders to analyze and infer anything about his life. Likewise, the lack of personal effects prevents visitors from knowing about anything he wishes to keep hidden. The house resembles a model showroom rather than a home to Ava, just as she and her friends initially see Alex as a robot rather than a person with real emotions.
By Ana Huang