Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World

In Chapter 6, Murthy argues that a strong sense of self guards against loneliness. He begins with an anecdote about Serena Bian, who experienced loneliness as a freshman at the University of Pennsylvania. Away from home for the first time, Serena felt like she was losing herself. Her loneliness didn’t ebb over time, which triggered self-blame, self-criticism, and depression. Therapy helped Serena regain her sense of self. This encouraged her to enroll in a yoga teaching program where she connected with people with shared values and interests. Serena’s experiences with loneliness prompted her to conduct an experiment. She invited students who didn’t know each other to an Airbnb near campus for intentional conversations. Most expressed a desire for more authentic friendships. The gathering was so successful that Serena hosted one every few weeks, making close friends in the process.

Loneliness distorts how people see themselves and others, causing people to drift off course, forget what they love about their lives, and be overly critical of themselves. Losing one’s sense of self can occur during any period of transition, be it professional or personal. Murthy writes that society bombards people with materialistic ideals that cause people to lose sight of their true goals.