The Sound of Gravel: A Memoir

Life in LeBaron started to fall apart quickly when the family returned there. Before long, Matt became fed up by Lane’s demands and always having to work selling pine nuts. Despite his obvious potential, he was taken out of school and felt used and unheard, much like Ruth. At 14, Matt announced that he was leaving for California to work in construction with some of his older brothers. Kathy initially protested, but they reached a silent understanding, and Matt left the same night after a short goodbye. Ruth wished she could go with him.

The following spring, Ruth turned 12, and life at home slowly deteriorated into even greater chaos. Driving with Lane one day, Ruth was dozing when he began molesting her. Rather than fending him off as usual, Ruth pretended to be asleep, forcing herself not to move so that she could finally have solid evidence that Lane was still abusing her. She didn’t need to tell Kathy anything because her mother seemed to sense it. Unfortunately, however, Kathy’s response was just a repeat of the other times: She downplayed it and made excuses for Lane. Lane was casual about it as well, saying, “All I did was touch you” (234), as though it was not a big deal.