The Schwa Was Here

“I’m Calvin...Calvin Schwa.”

Although he introduces himself as Calvin and wants to be known by his first name, no one except Lexie calls him Calvin. Being known as the Schwa reflects his invisibility. Names are an important motif informing the novel’s themes of identity and perception.

“I’m like that tree. If I stand in a room and no one sees me, it’s like I was never there at all. Sometimes I even wonder if I was there myself.”

The Schwa is used to being excluded and ignored, to the point where he doubts that he has a place in the wider world. His identity is tied to his mom’s disappearance, and he fears vanishing like she did.

“No one ever has anything major to say about me, good or bad, and even in my own family, I’m kind of just ‘there.’”

Antsy relates to the Schwa’s feelings of being overlooked. He feels this way in his social life and with his family. As the middle child, Antsy does not get the same attention as his older brother or younger sister. Antsy feels average and is glad to befriend the Schwa, who is even “more invisible” than he is.