The Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness

According to the American Psychological Association, anxiety is an “emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changed like increased blood pressure” (www.apa.org). Individuals with anxiety disorders tend to experience psychological symptoms such as recurring intrusive thoughts and concerns, as well as physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, dizziness, and palpitations. Panic attacks, which are sudden episodes of intense fear accompanied by physical symptoms, are caused by anxiety. Anxiety disorders or experiences of anxiety as present in other mental illness are sometimes treated with anti-anxiety medication, termed anxiolytics. Elyn describes frequent experiences with anxiety, and even panic attacks. At one point she is forcibly given Valium alongside anti-psychotic medication, and while it does calm her down, the drowsiness that it brings makes her feel uncomfortable.

Capgras syndrome refers to a delusional misidentification condition characterized by a false belief that someone close to the patient has been replaced with an identical duplicate. This specific delusion can occur in individuals with psychiatric and non-psychiatric illnesses, in cases of brain damage with respect to the latter. Owing to its rarity, it has not been addressed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Elyn describes experiencing the Capgras delusion the very last time she reduces her medication, when she believes